I ordered 4 new books the other day. This is unusual for me in that I hardly ever buy books. I tend to borrow from the library or friends instead (Peter calls me a book-moocher). Anyway, having used my Babywise book until it is showing signs of wear I figured ordering a few more from the series might be helpful. I ordered Babywise II (5 - 12 months), Toddlerwise (1 - 2 years), Childwise (3 - 7 years), and Potty Training 1-2-3. They arrived on Tuesday and I have skimmed through all of them. As a result I am on information overload!!
My first impression is that Nathan is kind of in 'no man's land' with the -wise series. The Toddlerwise book really focuses on 12 - 24 months, while most of the stuff in Childwise focuses on after the child can understand moral reasoning, which they say starts around their third birthday. I'm a little disappointed none of the books deal specifically with the age 2 - 3 (perhaps Preschoolwise would?) but there are enough things in Toddlerwise that I'd like to try and do that I'm sure we'll have lots to work on, in addition to preparing myself mentally for the work that will be required when I get to Childwise stuff.
The two things that stuck out that I'd like to work on right away are: 'yes, mommy' and hand folding. 'Yes, mommy' means that when I instruct Nathan to do something (eye contact is important here) that he will reply with that answer and then go and do what I've instructed. I'm trying really hard to use the word 'instructed' instead of 'asked' since I tend to end my instructions with '... okay?' Although Nathan's response lately has been and emphatic 'Okay' (a new word for him), I don't want him to ever think that what I'm telling him to do is optional. I'm working hard to instructing rather than asking. I started yesterday trying to get him to respond with 'yes, mommy' but I'm not having much luck at the moment. He will usually do what I tell him to but has not yet said 'yes, mommy.' He will often say 'please' since I think that's what he thinks he's supposed to say. We'll keep working on it ... any tips are welcome!
The second thing I want to work on is when Nathan is starting to lose control. The books say that at those moments I should tell him to fold his hands to get back some self-control. I was very skeptical of this ... it sounds a bit ridiculous! Having read some success stories and figuring there was nothing to lose I tried it at lunch today. Nathan had decided not to eat (natural consequences coming up when he gets up from his nap and is hungry I'm sure) but he was required to stay at the table while I finished. He started getting upset and repeating 'down, down ... ' over and over. I showed him how to fold his hands and told him to do that to get back his self-control. To my amazement, as soon as his hands were folded he calmed down and sat there smiling sweetly at me until I finished (in just a couple of minutes)! I really hope it wasn't a fluke!
Those are the two ideas that stuck out from Toddlerwise that I wanted to implement immediately. I'm sure there will be more when I re-read it more carefully. There is so much in the books that I want to make sure to do (the content is great while the editing is *terrible* - worst books I've ever read for grammar mistakes!!) that I definitely have to read them several times.
One more note on Nathan ... remember me mentioning in another post, just a short week ago, that Nathan hadn't figured out how to open doors yet? Well, I think I jinxed myself. He figured it out today. So far he did well and went right to sleep at nap time ... we'll see if additional training is needed in when it is appropriate for him to open his door and when it's not.
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